Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
