I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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