There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I party with great urgency now.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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