If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
