the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
barbara walters just said penis...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize