if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
