i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
