You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
