it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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