i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
