No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i think my cat just said my name.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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