It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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