He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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