Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
