He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
