So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
