she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
