He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
