How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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