That's when you crack a 10am beer
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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