I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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