By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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