I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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