adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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