hell yes lets make some ravioli
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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