I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize