he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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