small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
