ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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