You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i've created a new STD.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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