she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
