IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
