I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
