but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
