Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.

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(518): View more from New York

I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.

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(941): View more from Florida

When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress

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