about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??