im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Enjoy the penises