Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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  (763): My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats. http://tfl.nu/m7i1
  Replies (1) Good night (1699) Bad night (588)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (578) Bad night (4553)
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  (845): View more from New York

  felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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  (845): felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter http://tfl.nu/o0yy
  Replies (33) Good night (1440) Bad night (6323)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.

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  (201): just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year. http://tfl.nu/847n
  Replies (8) Good night (3455) Bad night (922)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.

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  (240): Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic. http://tfl.nu/gchg
  Replies (5) Good night (4329) Bad night (1541)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1534) Bad night (645)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season

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  (860): I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season http://tfl.nu/sdcu
  Replies (6) Good night (1764) Bad night (773)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom

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  (506): I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom http://tfl.nu/kne6
  Replies (14) Good night (534) Bad night (2341)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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  (479): Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question. http://tfl.nu/6lny
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (365)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.

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  (519): I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vv54
  Replies (2) Good night (1176) Bad night (493)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie

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  (803): this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie http://tfl.nu/26xl
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (316)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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  (613): I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/khmv
  Replies (5) Good night (677) Bad night (504)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.

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  (720): I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things. http://tfl.nu/e55d
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (221)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.

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  (907): I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you. http://tfl.nu/34x6
  Replies (8) Good night (581) Bad night (317)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.

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  (219): I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro. http://tfl.nu/g8nj
  Replies (1) Good night (202) Bad night (370)

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