My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.