Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.

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  (443): Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her. http://tfl.nu/u8d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1583) Bad night (495)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.

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  (908): so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy. http://tfl.nu/ocps
  Replies (9) Good night (695) Bad night (2651)
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  (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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  (310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545
  Replies (65) Good night (2501) Bad night (3436)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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  (613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9
  Replies (16) Good night (731) Bad night (5187)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.

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  (623): listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville. (202): Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am. http://tfl.nu/fp1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5478) Bad night (1007)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

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  (253): Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack. (1-253): What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited http://tfl.nu/n0ma
  Replies (13) Good night (5430) Bad night (1034)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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  (678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia
  Replies (7) Good night (3674) Bad night (1102)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

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  (517): Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise. http://tfl.nu/o3um
  Replies (12) Good night (3477) Bad night (975)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick

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  (204): she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick http://tfl.nu/7rr6
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (2154)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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  (502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31
  Replies (4) Good night (1693) Bad night (885)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.

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  (870): I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer. http://tfl.nu/bxkb
  Replies (5) Good night (2240) Bad night (549)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I feel a five day drunk coming on.

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  (217): I feel a five day drunk coming on. http://tfl.nu/u0qx
  Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (575)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

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  (404): Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on. http://tfl.nu/451u
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (822)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.

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  (256): It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with. http://tfl.nu/jivo
  Replies (3) Good night (728) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.

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  (915): Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist. http://tfl.nu/1ory
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (174)

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