Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had

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(614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had http://tfl.nu/9bpx

Replies (7) Good night (6192) Bad night (726)
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(256): View more from Alabama

As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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(256): As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right. http://tfl.nu/ax5o

Replies (6) Good night (5016) Bad night (716)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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(828): I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office. http://tfl.nu/0hvj

Replies (7) Good night (1581) Bad night (3909)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.

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(703): i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship. http://tfl.nu/7io7

Replies (12) Good night (862) Bad night (4308)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.

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(814): Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh. http://tfl.nu/s2cz

Replies (40) Good night (4500) Bad night (1409)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds

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(303): Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/arjt

Replies (14) Good night (2621) Bad night (903)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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(952): I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/yysc

Replies (3) Good night (2628) Bad night (1084)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?

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(605): How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts? http://tfl.nu/1g9l

Replies (16) Good night (2987) Bad night (822)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...

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(402): Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways... http://tfl.nu/6fzc

Replies (8) Good night (2135) Bad night (1016)
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(313): View more from Michigan

So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.

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(313): So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk. http://tfl.nu/79dj

Replies (4) Good night (2234) Bad night (721)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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(304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed

Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (782)
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(914): View more from New York

If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.

(914): View more from New York

I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.

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(914): If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded. (914): I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit. http://tfl.nu/hj4l

Replies (14) Good night (2014) Bad night (966)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?

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(506): Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs? http://tfl.nu/qbtb

Replies (10) Good night (994) Bad night (442)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle

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(804): i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle http://tfl.nu/e8dz

Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (379)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse

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(719): I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse http://tfl.nu/h22m

Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (430)

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