I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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