very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize