don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
