We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
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Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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