Whod you bang
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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