do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sober January is a disaster.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
