i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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