Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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