You're completely useless in the revolution.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
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All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling