I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I want is dick and wine.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
