I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
