Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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