I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He better not be in your backpack
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i now understand why vodka
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
