meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize