I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
