finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
