like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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