you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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