He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
