i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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