Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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