Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
no, he came in my armpit
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out