I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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