In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.