Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
