two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you had me at cake vodka
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
