i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
