They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
