It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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