so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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