I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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