I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
