and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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