i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
