So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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