We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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