The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
