just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
