My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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